Chapman and Shawky Review

Was first inclined to the Chapman latest exhibition, which is FREE btw, when I saw a tweet from Boy George posing with a KKK. So I was off. 

Jake and Dinos Chapman: Come and See

Serpentine Sackler Gallery

Until Sun Feb 9 

Now I know their work, not in huge depth but yeah it's controversial. Political, about capitalism, corruption etc etc. This won't be a subjective review, the work itself generates heated discussion so lets save that for another day. Ganna go on to what I think of the exhibition itself. You first walk in, and first there is the first big glass box you covering everything going on behind it, I imagine for the faint hearted to prepare themselves for what they're about to see, and yeah was a pretty pointless thing to have there. Uniform with paint coming down, well I dunno it was like the studio of the Chapman's contained, but the fact a staff member would be stood right infront of it just defeated the point of it being displayed. 

What this box guarded was four monochrome SMILEY FACE flags, becomes a satirical badge that each KKK member spectating in the exhibition wears. And the costumes of these figures are jokes, they're in the correct uniform worn by the racist-pieces-of-crap-shat-out-of-the-devils-arse, but Chapman complete their look with hippie knitted rainbow socks and jesus slippers! Make of that what you will, we're just getting started.

So I already pointed out the entrance is a bit shit, but another big thumbs down is that this layout is bezerk. Like which way am I going!? When you enter you turn to the right an dyou see the blurb any ehibition would have, but then if you continue in that direction as you'd assume you would do, you end up at the end of their 'Come and See' section. It wasn't figured out well at all. So I began to the LEFT so when you walk in, go to the left. It made a bit more sense.

So along the wall heading towards the extra room which is actually the shop, don't go in there just yet, are fuck like 50 or more lil frames illustrations of gruesome Chapman ideas and then you are presented with 5 contraptions.
 Little Death Machine, 2006, onto I laughed in the face of adversity but it laughed back louder, 2008, followed by I want to be popular, 2008, next a Striptease, 2012 and finally I Felt Insecure (2012?).

I Felt Insecure, 2012 (?)

Closing in on this corner of machinery are portraits' such as One day you will no longer be loved (that it should come to this...) XIV 2013, a collection of disaesed-ridden and damaged people, looks like an acid attack done once to the person, once during painting, and a couple of more times to the whole thing. Try not to just look at how the sculptures and paintings are executed but on what it triggers. Especially the fact that a KKK member is joining you as an audience, seen to be intrigued in the machines. This first bit's layout is through the whole thing, they have done well in using this tight little space really cramming it all in.

The Axminster of Evil, 2008 © Jake and Dinos Chapman.
Photograph: Todd-White Art Photography/courtesy White Cube

Brilliantly hung on the whole quite randomly is this giant tapestry piece replicating the fun little games you'd get as you buy your happy meal as Maccy D. Walking in from the left of the exhibition, here's the beginning of this McDonald's method of business corrupting our lives as consumers, relating burgers with war. There's a bunch of canvas paintings, which sucked a bit, the famous miniature's Chapman crates with beautiful scenes of river of blood and hitler holding balloons in the middle of trees away from all the devastation happening behind him.

You see a lot in the middle of the exhibition, all quite sticking to the main theme but here's where the 'Come and See' idea comes into action. If you look up there are 3 bars of writing (and keep looking up through, there's all sorts displayed on the walls closer to the ceiling tying everything together). The first one reads all colourful COME AND SEE followed by GET RID OF MEANING. YOUR MIND IS A NIGHTMARE all in black, and ends with THAT HAS BEEN EATING YOU: NOW EAT YOUR MIND.

There is this quite stunning scene of the wall display interacting with the path as you walk in and around the pieces, a KKK member who has actually touched the work on the wall and has been stained with ink, triggering curiosity and breaking down that barrier of the drawn out dot-to-dot maps of McDonald games becoming a reality and effecting it.

You walk near the end and these massive miniature's creatign a scene of horrors with McDonald's iconic figures participating, people mutated and joined together, limbs taken apart to form new figures, skeletons fighting with humans, a number of fucked up orgies. This one below in particular with a man with painfully hairy legs, like the hairs themselves have been individually stuck back into the skin, these legs of the modern man wearing bright trainers, puts us into the scene itself, whilst a KKK member looks either in horror or intrigue. These glass-contained pieces are so packed it screams of suffocation, contrary to the clear empty space its presented it. We are outside, imagine being inside, the smells and layers and layers of sound, even people as horrid as the KKK are outside of this world. 

Now in the middle of this Serpentine Sackler space are two seperate galleries, still Chapman's coming and seeing show, first go in this barn house looking one, cardboard sculptures displayed, models and little ideas, I imagine the Chapman duo threw these in, the kind of working out of the outside plans, what the McD members did in the workroom and how the KKK like to spend their time bumming each other as they watch. 

Now what I quite love about this exhibition is in one of the two tunnels in the middle is one of them is playing some audio thing that screams through the whole space. Whilst I was looking around other than listening to parents talk about the pieces with their kids, was screaming, heavy screamo metal music and such. I ended the exhibition with this room and I recommend you do to, it's a great finale but also it doesn't relate with the work outside so I think if you're going in and out of the two basically different exhibitions you're ganna throw yourself off.

Here is a clip of it, with a couple of actors you may recognize, one failing artist wannabe played by the bad werewolf in Harry Potter. It's a beautifully screening which members of the KKK are involved in too! I had one pointing to the screen over my shoulder whilst I watched. The Kino Klub holds this special screening and what's quite brilliant is that watching it from when I came in, the whole thing and then returning to where I came in (did that make sense???). Well what I am trying to articulate is that whatever point you come in, the Fucking Hell film makes sense, which is so crucial with exhibitions like this! I hate when you enter a film and you begin like in the middle and the end or the whole thin just makes no sense. This film is well done and so fucked and comical, I imagine Dali would of been front row. 

So my verdict, for a free exhibition, was very good. Great introduction if like me you have come face to face with Jake and Dinos Chapman's work before. I have a feeling they really love watching the Supersize Me Documentary as do I. Next time, more sense of direction please.

Wael Shawky: al-Qurban

Serpentine Gallery

Until Sun Feb 9

Photograph: © Hugo Glendinning

No unfortunately because of the Chapman show, not many people noticed there was another exhibition happening in the Serpentine Gallery across the river. Including me, awks shit.

It is very small, and it was dark so I could be there for long to watch 3 of the VERY LONG films showcased. Like for a, yet again FREE, exhibition, they were quite long. You would need to know in advance they were doing screenings then plan your time accordingly to watch each one from the beginning if you catch it from the soandso:00 hours. Only criticism. Otherwise WOW.

                            

First you notice how much darker this space is compared to other shows, Chapman being so bright bleached walls and then there's this space. Obviously to aid the beautiful lighting need, you enter this navy/blue space and see this grand glass box showing off marionettes, so bright it's a display of craft. 

Straight away you wanna drive into it but I resist and go to the blurb (you notice I go to read the walls a lot. Do this. Know what the fuck you're looking at and contextualise yourself). Each thing written throughout this exhibition's walls is then repeated next to it in arabic. Can't remember the reason but that reminder of another culture is effective, I remember being impressed.

You get a full 360 degree point of view with its presentation, these were the performers used in two of the films shown in this exhibition, some of the 110 marionettes made. Designed looking mutated, off like is it human or what? It communicates how this "community lives so closely with  succession of animals (camels, mules and donkeys) that thy begin to acquire the same features". GENIUS. Kinda like was Orwell was talkign about with Animal Farm. Costumes are great, the balance of animal and human, some look like they're morphing right before you eyes. Just I could go on. But I won't. See it.

Asphalt Flags, 2010

\Now on the marionette's left is this corner displaying separate work, flags held together with wires. I didn't quite get them as the lead into the first film, I don't know why, but there you have it, it's free. The film is Cabaret Crusades: The Horror Show File, 2010. 31mins 49 sec. Yeah, plan your time ahead like I said. This film uses the marionette dolls where both Muslim and Christian leaders are depicted as violent shitbags, with the mosque aflamed and the priest dead. Wish I could see the whole thing.

Then I suggest to run to the other side of the exhibition, on the right of the glass box. Trust me on this.

There is another little corner of framed work which accompany the next film The Path to Cairo, 2013. They are colorful depictions of fantastical creatures which Shaky says he tries to "make my drawings dense with the idea of certainty. In the end, they are spontaneous, mixed with a degree of surrealism." I wasn't impressed. But I think a lot of people would enjoy them. 

Then you turn in on the 'Path' film thing, and it is a depiction of 50 years between the 1st and 2nd Crusade (1099- 1149), following on from the film on the left of the exhibition 'Horror Show File' one. See why I made you go from left to right, ignoring the middle film?? You're welcome. Script is both sung and spoken with improvisation and composition. It is grand, again wish I could watch it in its entire but I didn't have time for 60 minutes and 57 seconds! But hey it's free, plan your time ahead of this one.

NOW you're welcomed to go into the middle screening, which is behind the glass box of dolls as you walk in. Either see it first of last, not in the middle of it all or else you're disjointed. This film is a WORLDWIDE PREMIERE and it's free mwhaha. Serpentine Gallery the lucky dogs are showcasing Al Araba Al Madfuna II, 2013 which is cast made up of children, not quite show what happens, I walked in on the ending part and credits, someone dead got pulled out a river? Yeah by this time was home time but what I saw, great lighting and visually rich even in B&W. It is another long one that you'd want to see from beginning to end so. 

The Verdict is that you, and myself, should of been warned and planned ahead of this exhibition. You need enough time to spectate and watch the films in full to fully appreciate it but what I saw was good. Thank you Serpentine for introducing me to this artist. FUCK YOU for having shitty shops with no postcards for either shows. AAAND fuck you harder for having your fucking park clsoe most of its gates before the galleries close, so you're left wondering around in the damn dark trying to get out without climbing over a gate which spikes will destroyed my blessed area. 

   

V&A's Jameel Prize 3 and Pearls Exhibitions

The Jameel Prize 3

Until Mon 21 April 2014
Free

So I spent a great whole day at V&A, and much to my delight this first show was FREE. Great incentive to go to any show. So for that itself it is worth going, but usually the V&A's use of this particular space in the gallery is always very cramped and ram-packed with work, making it more like a antique store than a gallery space where the work isn't fully appreciated at its best. But for The Jameel Prize 3 they did the pieces justice.

WTF is a Jameel Prize I telephathetically hear you ask? Exact same question I had. Well according to the V&A site, the Jameel Prize goes on every other year since 2009, and is an international art prize awarded to contemporary designers and/or artists who use Islamic traditions of art, craft and design in particular to inspire their work. I think I have been to one of these exhibitons before totally oblivious to it all but it is so great of V&A showcasing unknown names in the western world creating modern work! Bravo tick.

So I went totally unaware of the artists and designers current and past work, excited to see what was ganna go on. But between you and me, I have a tendancy to turn my nose up at Islamic art. First,how the fuck are you going to refer to something by a religious belief is fucking beyond me. Especially as all but 3 of the works shown include no fucking religion but the CULTURES that have brought up the CRAFTS and techniques used, we don't go running around western galleries labelling everything Christian art and design. For fuck sake. Yeah. I come from 'Islamic Republic of Iran' so the whole religion branding is a subject I like ranting about.

BACK to the Jameel Prize.

First, you walk up, black walls shielding and tucking away the exhibiton from the busy entrance of the V&A, and on the left is an installation by Fatmi, who we will go further into later on, and oh

WARNING: If you are epileptic, don't go to this or jsut walk faced down through and look only at the left - hand side of the exhibitions.

Anyway yeah very quick flashing writing that is so damn clever. Technologia, 2010, conveys how media gets discoursed so bloody quick and there is so damn much of it that all the images, the meaning, the ideas are all lost through the motion. Already the best use of Islamic writing in art and I ain't even gone in yet!
The exhibiton showcases the shortlisted nominees of the Jameel Prize 3 plus the winner Kayek's work. But it is all brilliant. As you walk in you are drawn to the left, a subtitled video showing off our fabulous nominees talking briefly through their craft.


Concrete Carpet, Nada Debs

Going to start with the centrepiece of this MASSIVE space that I never got to comprehend before this show, like V&A really you've been hiding it again very well. It is a massive Concrete Carpet by Nada Debs, a contemporary designer, she is like the one for top-end unique interior designs for the home. Was quite funny watching people walk in and almost onto the work. As well as concrete sections made out it also has Mother-of-perl and Stainless steel that make up the fringing of the carpet, cos the carpet is solid you know? See what she did there. There lettering all just looses its meaning again, creating a type of pattern with each section highlighting a letter in white. Something very sombre about it, the definitive nature of 'set in stone' writing. Would love to walk on it.

Rahul Jain Textile

Jain Workshop

Now for some lush textiles by Jain, displaying 'The Snow Leopard' and shown above 'The Birds of Paradise'. His designs stay true to the traditional structure of patterns but the patterns themselves re-intepreted, animals within them interacting with one another. That was the most interesting thing about it for me, and the luminescent gold bouncing off this rolled-out fabric hanging against the wall, The Snow Leopard politely containing in a glass box beneath it.

What, as a maker I am sure will fascinate, is great about Jain is though his designs are fresh, new and shit his technique is true. A scene of the studio for his work, hand-loomed like they would of been centuries back, that tradition of craft being so key in his work.

Now the work next to Jain certainly made up a crowd, mainly because it was drawing so tightly spaced together that you are provided with magnifiers to see it. But erm.... shame on you V&A for encouraging such behaviour! Okay, maybe it is interesting and kinda unbeleiveable that this Khan guy has the patience to create so many markings that you need to see it up close, but it ain't like they were tiny written out words or phallic symbols, miniature master pieces in themselves, no they were lines and dots. So, was a shame to see audiences go to queue up straight away to look at the work throguh a magnifying glass for 4 seconds, then drop it down to jsut walk off. I recommend to stand back and look (which was hard because I  ended up with a silhoeutte of heads coverign the bottom half of the hung work) but look at the effect his drawing leaves. This type of mapping out, the spaces he leaves unmarked, exposing this space of land on the globe, or space of emptiness and a void. C'mon guys who totally wasted the piece by not appreciating it as a whole- this being an example that relying on the process and craft is bullshit, and the way something has been done should be viewed at as one. If you're a graphic fanatic or illustrator you will love this but if you love space and texture and purpose Khan is quite a clever sausage.

Waqas Khan

Nasser Al-Salem

For Al-Salem, soz but I will keep it short and sweet. Wasn't balled over, his piece is the poster for the exhibiton but it is the stereotypical piece you expect from 'Islamic Art & Design'. Though th use of perspective, abstractign the writing to create a new depth and space is all very interesting, how it was displayed there on the wall said it all. Walk on by wall-filler. But was a shame I couldn't experience his work as a whole, technical difficulties meant his media work was taken away and we had an cleared plinth. Awks V&A. 



Oi oi, here's our stunning winner! Kayek with her wearable fashion work. Cannot imagine why she won over the others. -_-

No offense to her or her amazing team whose craft is absolutely insane and fashion that I would like to see consistantly, but a fashion-related piece winning, I ain't surprised. Worthy? Well you can make your mind up on that, it's all subjective in the end. These are all worthy shortlisted nominees who are worthy of a mention and I am pleased Kayek is now in my life.

But as a costume student who designs and makes, yeah it is good of me to see this level of craft but the design itself was fucking good. Based on Istanbul's architectural and artistic heritage, these 3 pieces embrace the land and culture and is embodied through the design, the the silhoeutte's look very 1950's Western Housewife balances out with Thatcher shoulder pads, yeah dunno about that, but I can see the sculptural quality that resembles that of the land, I think it is more about the innovative materials used and structure that is the point here.


Dice Kayek. Photo © Victoria and Albert Museum, London.

'Caften', the one on your left, was made from hand-woven lame brocade, based on the top-notch "robes worn by the city's former Ottoman rulers" (V&A), and that decadence is definitely felt as it has a very dense and rich form, emphasised through the folds and pointed shoulders, very hard but perfect for christmas too, looking liek a nutcrackers and shit. Then on your right is the angel of the 3, 'Dome 2' is her name... light-weight cotton organdy, folded to "echo the ribs of lead-covered domes of the city's mosques and palaces". Seeing this one up close and personal, and I mean proper like I was squatting looking up the skirt and all kind of crap,and how these 'ribs' on the front of the dress were woven and layered, there is something quite haunting about it, really conveying that past presense of the city and then some pretty pleats to go round the shoulders and skirt. And then the middle glitsy piece is a COAT. Like I just bought an embroidery coat and omg it is heavy, but I don't wanna be carrying this thing! Looks like it'd be a bitch to carry. She's called 'Hagia Sophia', and she is a white satin coat with hand-stitched embroidery with acienet glassbeads, inspried by Byzantine Mosaics. Very bird-predator like, very nice to look at. You can imagien this was the one everyone was getting told off about because NO PHOTOGRAPHY THANK YOU.


But MY DAYS I think this piece parellel to Kayak's was delicious! Literally you could eat it, that was Maresechal's plan. His elaborate , completely temporary installations of 'floor tiles' made up from 'everyday materials' being spices, food, soap. I would be kneeling the whole time sniffing and brushing the scent in my direction and it seriously smelt of my mother's spices and herb draws and cupboards. It was so nostalgic and that's what I took from it.

Laurent Maresechal, Beiti, 2012
Site specific installation, spices - variable dimensions
© Laurent Mareschal & Galerie Marie Cini, Paris

One half is uniformed, with a sprinkling of something dark that felt like footprints or some warm presence dusted over the tiles, the other side, deliberate or not I dunno has augmented tiles. A coupe shifted to the side, but I thnik what was SOO fucking fantastically fascinating was along the edge, a couple of fingerprints and swipes of the piece literally wiped away was apparent, and then I see one massive smudging, like the tile wiped with hands marked out! Now Maresechal use of deliberately fragile materials, which he expected viewers to eating or something, participating in the piece's fragile nature and transforming it. I think Maresechal could only of dreamt that a little boy would of gotten too close over the bar, falling onto the tiles! Absolutely makes it what it is, a temporary pattern of memory and culture, so much of Middle-Eastern and Arabic culture is in the vibrant colours and smells! Thought these tiles were stunning in everyway, I could go on and on.

Plastic Gold by Florie Salnot

But onto Florie Salnot! I ain't going to show you her jewellery because that isn't the thing about her, google it by all means, but her use of recycling, taking plastic and creating 'gold' through the process shown above, involving refugee camps in making pieces, being about both socializing and having craft. It is so true and honest yet innovative, I don't understand why this isn't happening more. Salnot is a beautiful example of art and design being about community.

Refugee Camp

Mounir Fatmi, Screenshot of multi-media Installation

Now we are back to Fatmi, who introduces the Jameel Prize 3 exhibition through multi-media installation, and inside you witness a MASSIVE like, it must of been like 10 metres wide, only slight exaggeration. Just elaborating on the point before, layering and distracting with writing, taking away all meaning and creating mechanical geometrics of nothingness.

And in the bottom right corner next to the LONG BIG blurb of special thanks are these wonderful carpets by Ahme, like seriously making them in the old fashion way but the image and pattern itself pulled, distorted, manipulated within a pixel of its life, finally. An arabic carpet that doesn't bore the life out of me.


Faig Ahme Carpet

Pearls

Until 19 Jan 2014
V&A and Qatar Museums Authority Exhibition
Book Tickets

Much talked about exhibition, I remember when it opened and the celebs that came blah blah everyone made a big deal about it. Was it any could? Did V&A make it more purposeful than a typical, hgih end bespoke jewellery store? Meh. It starts and ends great, the middle with a couple of highlights jsut fillers to impress audiences.


Portrait of Jeanne de Marigny,
C & H Beaubrun

Opens up to this portrait, a wealthy woman soaked in jewels and pearls, tossing her chains and rings and money casually on the floor. Left a bad taste in my mouth tbh. Then it leads into the science of pearls, the birth and cycle of it. Like did you know, pearls actually form through parasites being trapped when mollusc retracts in its shell, created as it is triggered by the intrusion of the parasite. It is basically the product of fucking shell rape. THAT IN ITSELF is just, fuck, omg. Costume ideaaaaaa


© Victoria and Albert Museum

And so it sets the theme of the exhibition is general, being presented in vintage cabinets, protected by I think like triple glazing like, the security and insurance I imagine much be insane for this. And there's a lesson about Pearl fishing inthe Persian/Arabian Gulf, pap pap Persia! Bahrain and Doha being at deep in the action! And you see a net basket which these divers hang around the neck and held on the chest, so as they're foraging the earth of the sea, they collect shells in their net baskets, going about their business. That effort and risk etc going into finding pearls, its rarity just being emphasized through this history lesson, and other Gulfs and places to farm pearls discovered by Spanish fishermen, and the difference between different pearls from different areas. So exciting to see, felt like one of the victorians discovering new things for the first time.

Pearl divers off the coast of Qatar,
photographed by Christian Creutz, 1972
(James Hanna/Qatar Museums Authority)

Then it gets all meh, literally I dunno why the peices shown was picked, what the criteria was. Whatever is impressive and related to royalties blahblah. Was was interested in the descriptions made about the evolution of the symbolism behind pearls through time. And seeing, not this one below but nonetheless, yo get to see a jewellery design drawing by Vasters. And pieces of the Art Nouveau, organic peices based on nature capitalising on the pearl's irregular and spontaneous shape and form, designs that totally embraced the personality of that single pearl used. Moving onto the Art Deco period, like this section of the cabinets is the best, the first half, read the descriptions instead of dismissing them. Trust me you'll gain so much more than staring at meh status pieces.

Personal fav: the 1900 DOG COLLAR. Maybe not a favourite but damn, seriously.

Aachen (about 1860), Reinhold Vasters 

After these cabinets, hello different ways pearls are used as a material and representation! Something great about this exhibition is that it doesn't just show pretty jewellery, it gives you an evolving point of view of pearls, the origins and then various types of interpretations made from them from a range of cultures and design ideas. Such as an Imperial Court Robe for China, or the insane Mnekin emboss, like the clothing literally being presented by creating a texture from pearls!

The Hope Pearl

Icon with Virgin and Child

Ivan Nikolaev Mnekin

Moscow, Russia

1886

Or the impressive, global superstars of the pearl world with 'The Hope Pearl' literally being crowned, of the 'Pearl of Asia', like these uniquely, grossly large alien pearls seen as celebrities! 

Unfortunately that celeb culture of pearl includes this one dipshit comment I heard. 

Joseph Chaumet Tiara

Like this tiara you see above, she pointed at the middle pearl and gasped in horror and disapproval 'why do they have to use such an ugly cut?!' and then moved onto something else exclaiming snobby and dickhead remarks. Like literally it was the equivalent of pointing at the different bikini bodies in magazines and circling around what is 'WRONG' about them. You fail to see the beauty in the individual that is so lost within materials used in art and design I feel at least, that materials are just used and seen in bulk and mass, not for each personal quality and showcasing it to its best. Like if you're ganna have shallow work give it SOME depth and beauty. Like I wanted to slap this prick.

Marilyn Monroe

The Flowers of the Fields of France, Norman
Worn by Queen Elizabeth II on state visit to Paris 1957

Detail

And you see pearls use as worn by celebrities Monroe and Taylor, only photographs sad to say, yes I am sorry to inform all tourists, but there are pieces leant by Her Majesty soooooo. And again the use of pearls and what it represented culturally is seen through 'The Flowers of the Fields of France' gown. 

Meh okay moving on cos it was great to see but didn't inspire me. And then V&A goes and inspires me - omg no so this exhibition totally has rise and fall! You amazed, you're meh, you're awed! you're bored. I get it now - with Mikimoto's CULTURED PEARLS. Yeah I know I didn't know pearls could be cultured themselves. But it is still influenced by us because these are pearls created by 'inserting an object' inside of the oyster and shell as the pearl is being formed. Great photographs are displayed to compare influenced pearls to the norm.

© Victoria and Albert Museum © Mikimoto

But there are a few pieces that are so exciting, probably because I am a Costume for Performance student and I saw pieces like the Gothic Choker having such energy and style that projects a style in itself, like you can be totally nude and wear this choker and get a sense of the character. And there is is one, like even I was impressed by its being, the Journey of 5000 pearl scarf. yeah. A PEARL SCARF WITH A FUCKING BADGE SAYING MIKIMOTO. Nothing gets more boss than that. I'm sorry no fuck off he wins. Contemporary pearls don't end here.

Gothic Choker
© Victoria and Albert Museum, © Mikimoto

Sam Tho Duong
© Victoria and Albert Museum

Sam Tho Duong's collection and one piece imparticular exploring nature being frozen is so inspired, and the spiders and so much more, unfortunately completely crammed onto one board. They showcase pearls in jewellery designs aren't dated or tacky thanks to the plastic pearl necklaces or 'pearl' sex toys, it is still going strong. But the real highlight of this exhibition is right at the end. I think a piece made by Weiwei, these eight buckets filled with almost mutated pearls varying in shades of white, it's titled 'Mass Production of China' because at the end we see how what started as humble pearl fishing, trading in honest materials, well that has evolved into a corrupt process of farming, like all farms, that to create massive amounts of pearls, abusing living creatures that are oysters and mollusc. I mean ffs. And the hollow, fading reflections of these buckets just emphasizing that mass, and the emptiness and shady business it is. 

Buckets of pearls at the V&A’s Pearls exhibition
(James Hanna/V&A/Qatar Museum’s Authority

And how I stood there for like 10 minutes whilst other viewers literally coming down the corridor heading straight for the exit and into the shop, made me sick. 

This exhibition was worth it because I had my student discount, but to my surprise and after writing this blog and sensing that rise and fall in pace through the exhibition, it is an impressively laid out and presented show. The navy, dark space with articulate lighting, making these small TINY pieces become  massive, lifesized. How they managed to achieve that effect, they went and earnt themselves a pearly white smile.

Review: Klee, 0. Schendel, 1.

So on that really windy and rainy day December 23rd, I saw Isabella Blow at Somerset House, then crossed the Embankment bridge - almost loosing my bag that the wind kept trying to drag into the Thames!! - and pushed against the elements all the way to Tate Modern. I defied that weather for Klee and Schendel! Now was it worth it?

No then Yes. 

Let me explain!

The EY Exhibition: Paul Klee – Making Visible

Tate Modern: 16 October 2013 – 9 March 2014

I started at Paul Klee - Making Visible, much hyped, heard many people boast about this artist I had only seen the name of not his actual work. So Tate Modern exhibitions are very much retrospectives like, all the time, and this fits the mould of beginning with Klee's roots, how he is also a composer, would of loved to of heard his music, and the exhibition goes chronological through his lifetime and work. Even in the little booklet there isn't the usual 'Room 1 blah blah', it is all in a timeline. But I am afraid the exhibition sucked. 

There was no rise and fall, no movement, I didn't feel the time change, it all blended into one another with a couple of rocks standing out very few times. The layout was as bland, lifeless and stuck up as the work.

This exhibition was PACKED with people, people looking focused and fascinated at the work and gushing, but what brought it home was when a little girl in a summer dress, bouncing goldilocks running and stomping across the space puffing and panting like her tongue was wagging out like a dog. All this 'sophisticated' work up and this girl couldn't give a shit!! The least Tate could do is make the space interesting to try save the monotonous Klee. I think the fact he was working between the years of war doing abstract landscapes and townscapes is where all his credibility lies. But unlike his contemporaries and fellow members of Der Blaue Reiter Kandinskyand Franz Marc, whose work actually communicate, explore, challenge effectively and are expressive as hell, Klee is a yawn and Tate didn't help him along in how it was presented. This guy taught at Bauhaus? For real? I read that and thought, where Tate? Instead of talking about how influential he is prove it and show examples of that. Gawn. Make that visible cause I cannot see shit in this exhibition.

Flowers In Glasses, 1925

There are pieces I enjoyed mind you, like I came into this totally clueless and open, I ain't a total bitch I swear. I just don't get why the grand white space for galleries is now compulsory because trust me, it didn't make the work seem monumental through scale, they just looked like fillers. Flowers In Glasses stood out, was like the table decoration I would expect in a brothel. Obscene vases jutting out their voids, flowers coming from out of the unknown void radiant but crude. 

Redgreen and Violet-Yellow Rhythms, 1920

And amongst of the rectangles of colours going through Tate like vomit on London Streets on NYE, this gem of a landscape came up! Called Redgreen and Violet-Yellow Rhythms, along the lines and edges of the wonky four-sided shapes are the 'trees', the arrows directing the eye through the mass. There is an element of agression through the nature of the trees and the glossy red finish you see when up close to it, but the small spots of yellow, sunshine coming through, there is hope through the hardship and fear or perhaps a suffocation of life is happening and it is getting heavier, shitting all over the landscape with the rigid structure of it all. The trees are uniformed and marching across the land. I don't know what an at historian will say about this piece but it sums up the mood I imagine was about in 1920 Germany.

They're Biting, 1920

Now, I dunno what the fucking deal is with Klee and fish. But he really loves documenting sealife. I bet his sex life revolves around dressing as mermaids and fishermen. What I was so fond of in his work s that oil transfer method, very similar to what Warhol was doing in his early days of illustration with blotted lines. Too bad the substance and narrative of his watercolours live up to the technique. However in Das Aquarium, fat distorted (I'm guessing tuna) fishes cramped into a polluted space threatened by these spaced out, throbbing red plants, the landscape of the sealife being corrupted but we don't see none of that. Klee makes that visible.

Das Aquarium, 1927

Omega 5 (Traps), 1927

Gaze of Silence, 1932

Looking what I first thought was very Big Brother (now all I can see is a fucking fish head), this landscape is really unsettling. Bigger than most of his other work, the inverted, straight edge land with lighter inverted parts opposite the smooth and soft sky, this burning sun in the centre of it all, but its shine being totally contained. This does make you shut up and stare in silence as it stares at you right back. Nature itself turning industrial and strict. But what does Tate do? Cluster it with everything else taking away its impact. Sigh. Moving on.

Le Rouge et le Noir, 1938

Last thing that stretched out its hand in hulk-like fashion trying to get my attention, a red and black dot looking like Ping Pong walls, but you look it as a whole long enough there is a constant movement and change happening, not working together at all dominating one another through colour, amongst the cracking beige backdrop. It is mind-numbing to focus on and so intense, the red looking slightly blurred at the bottom, as it pushes through the racks leaving a clearer path in comparison to the black.

Literally though, these are the only pieces I got anything from, I bet the book would be more exciting than the exhibition itself because Tate just made it dull as dry humping. I walked away this show thinking 'sophistication is the art word for BULLSHIT' and that abstract colour works must have some hallucinogenic thing coming out of them, can be the only explanation for the joy people get from them. Though I admit the images of Klee's work I put up are indeed great.

Mira Schendel

Tate Modern: 25 September 2013 – 19 January 2014

Mira Schendel pictured in 1966. Photograph: Clay Perry

Now, I have even less of a clue who Schendel is, never heard of her before, not seen any of her work, nope no clue. Mind you I don't research the topic before going to the actual exhibition, I always just go open and free. But DAMN. I went from Blow to Low with her initial work made in Sao Paolo with really no means of living, stripped to bare essential utensils and furniture and cramped space (Natureza Morta, 1953) . But this Brazilian chick was serving many of her abstract peers and the ones that have gone before.

Natureza Morta, 1953

Now I actually won't do a full on review of this. Nope. Her work you need to experience all of it. It isn't fair that google will only provide me with very few of her pieces so it wouldn't be fair showcasing Schendel without seeing the rest. So please go to this. I was blown away at how bare this space was, I could count on one hand how many people at a time were in each room as me, including the staff! I don't understand why there wasn't as much hype for Schendel as there was for Klee, other than she is an unknown-to-western public Brazilian FEMALE. So glad I am now aware of his brilliant, psychological artist who truly expressed time and transparency, icons and symbols through materials, textures, space and installations.

Still Waves of Probability, 1969

When you get to Room 10, the probably millions of transparent fibres are stunning, especially when you stand in one place waiting for others to walk around it, seeing those figures become transparent and fragile. There is so much contextually going on and I am still suffering lack of sleep thanks to NYE, so do yourself a favour and check out this exhibition before it ends on the 19th Jan. 

Untitled Work, 1960s